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White Knuckle Parenting: School Volunteerism

One of the great joys of sending your child off to school is volunteering in class so you can find out what they're up to. If you're really lucky, you might get to help them learn as well.

Because I am mostly a stay-at-home mom, I am lucky enough to be able to volunteer in my kids' school classes. This is nice because I get to spy on them at the same time that they think I am there just because I love them.

I started volunteering when my kids were in a cooperative preschool and part of the deal was that I had to help in the classroom two or three days a month. It was a pretty easy gig, mostly involving reading to kids, cutting apples for snacks, and trying to be out of the room when someone in the 2-year-old class needed a diaper change.

Once I started volunteering at elementary school, the teachers would tell me what to do and I would do it. Sometimes I would help kids at reading centers while the teacher taught small groups. Sometimes I would work on math with a couple of kids who needed a little extra help. Sometimes teachers would ask me to file or staple papers, which I was awesome at. I've been involved in creating Word Walls and helping kids find books at the library.

There was one time when a teacher sent me to the office with a stack of large pieces of colored paper to use the giant paper cutter in preparation for an art project. That assignment I actually messed up pretty badly. I managed to salvage it without anyone knowing after I walked in little stress circles for a few minutes to calm down and get my act together. 

Those giant paper cutters are more stressful than you might think. Also, imagine how embarrassing it would have been to have to go back and ask for more paper because I screwed up on the easiest job ever.

This year, a couple of teachers in my youngest child's grade have somehow gotten the impression that I am a writer. Those teachers asked me to help them teach writing lessons to the kids. The goal is to get them excited about writing.

I think I did actually get them excited about writing on one of the first couple of weeks I visited the classroom when I read something I wrote, but had to stop and ask the teacher, "Is it okay to say 'butt' in here?" Then all the kids were excited to write about butts. 

Since then, I have honed my lesson plans a little more carefully. I learned this fancy new word: "curriculum." Evidently there are actual guidelines for what teachers are supposed to present to their students.

Currently the kids are working on researching and writing about animals, which, as it turns out, is a lot of fun. I know this because I am doing the same thing. Last week I learned all about giraffes. This week I've assigned myself the platypus. I'm pretty excited for this week. 

Even better, by all reports, the kids are really excited too. I watch them when the teacher tells them they're out of time and they want to keep writing. I see them all want to share what they wrote with the class. I love to write. It is pretty neat to be able to watch that same love grow in these students.

I know that I am so lucky to have the time to be able to volunteer. I also know that I am incredibly lucky to have teachers who welcome parents into the classroom. I think it is a sign of an excellent and confident teacher to want other people in the classroom while they are teaching your children.

My youngest is in second grade this year and I've noticed that once kids hit third grade, teachers are less excited to have you in the classroom, and actually, your kids probably are too. At that point, it is mainly a matter of volunteering to go on field trips (field trips being a whole other topic altogether) and hoping you get to go to the theater with the fifth grade and not on the boat ride with the fourth.

My experience has shown me that this might be my last year of weekly in-classroom volunteering. I plan to make the most of it that I can. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do some research on platypuses.

Jean, a.k.a. Stimey, writes a personal blog at Stimeyland; an autism-events website for Montgomery County, Maryland, at AutMont; and a column called Autism Unexpected in the Washington Times Communities. You can find her on Twitter as @Stimey.

Related Topics: Jean Winegardner, Parenting, School, Volunteering, and White Knuckle Parenting

Gayle Day

2:05 pm on Tuesday, October 23, 2012

You forgot about school parties.

Hey, I love volunteering in the classroom, and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to do it. Need someone to create an artful display for your classroom's bulletin board? Cut out 28 construction-paper salamanders for a school project? Read "Flat Stanley" aloud to the class? Chaperone the dreaded National Zoo field trip? I'm your woman. But class parties make my skin crawl. They're too loud, too chaotic, and too stressful for me--especially once the children reach third grade. The arts and crafts projects that entertained them when they were smaller are now a bore, and there are too many students and too little space to do simple, cheap, and entertaining games like freeze dancing. Words cannot adequately describe how much I dread them. And yet there I'll be next week, wrangling snacks and drinks at the Fall Festival at Rachel's school, because the teachers know I work from home and know well how to guilt me into helping.

But, you know, the tradeoff is worth it. I'll take the parties, chaos and all, for the chance to contribute in the classroom, which has been one of the most fun and rewarding aspects of parenting so far.

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Jean Winegardner

9:49 am on Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Totally. School parties are brutal. Especially if you have more than one kid in the school and you're trying to attend multiple parties at one time. Also, Imma let you take that National Zoo field trip. That one is ROUGH. :)

Georgia

1:32 pm on Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Great article! You said it all so well. You know I live at that school some weeks and I never even see my kid. Somehow I feel happier when I've spent time at her school. Also really tired after the dreaded parties, but I love the smile my kid gives me when I'm there. Another plus to helping in the classroom is I get to know the kids in the class. I feel like it has real helped when she tells me about her day. I can imagine who she is talking about.
Sounds like this is my last year helping in the classroom since she is in 3rd grade. I'll enjoy while I can.

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Jean Winegardner

8:43 pm on Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I love that smile too. All of mine have loved having me in the classroom with them. And you're right—I love getting to know the other kids too. They're all such fun kids at that age.

Tom Termini

4:19 pm on Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I second your sentiments. Post-divorce, I am fortunate to be able to spend extra time with my kids at their school, weekly. Just day I had to do the mad dash between the boys' two classrooms, to help out as much as a parent can between the two grades.

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Jean Winegardner

8:10 pm on Wednesday, October 31, 2012

It does get complicated when you have to dash around to more than one class, doesn't it? Especially for things like parties, where they happen at the same time.

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